Remembering Thomas

Humpty Dumpty in 2020 was the first first collaboration with my son Thomas. Tom had thrown two halves of an egg and asked that I make him a Humpty Dumpty. We intentionally didn't add cracks as a way to rewrite the childhood poem, we put Humpty together again to symbolically change his personal tragedy.

Thomas driving his red corvette with his twin brother Anthony.

Thomas became a Reconnaissance Marine. We were all very proud of his accomplishment. Unfortunately shortly after his graduation he suffered a serious skull fracture during a nighttime ocean event at Camp Pendleton in 2010.

Behind the public eye he was in constant pain after developing seizures. He badly damaged his shoulders, his back and lost strength and mobility for simple tasks. The seizure medication came with significant side effects that made it impossible to live a quality life.

He suffered from PTSD and depression that wasn’t properly treated and struggled with life everyday. Unfortunately this is a common story amongst our veterans. Dealing with the loss of a child is a pain like no other.

My need to help others, especially those with disabilities began very young. My oldest brother was born with a tumor disorder and required surgeries for over a decade. Learning disabilities and bullying accompanied his life. Depression was a side effect for Steve and our family. Depression hit our family again with Tom’s disability. I believe art can take us away from reality, a vacation from mental anguish.

Honoring the memory of my son Thomas is a positive experience. Trying help someone else struggling is a gift and gets me out of the feelings of self pity. Tom wanted to do something to help others too and participated in training regularly at Gracie’s Jui-Jitsu.

One of the wisest things my son Tom said regarding his injuries and seizures was, “ Do not make my health a reason to be a victim of my situation , you do you, and I’ll do me.”

Toms Art